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What is IFS / Internal Family Systems?

By Ellen Chernoff Simon, M.Ed., M.S., LPC, BCB · Frisco, Texas

What is IFS or Internal Family Systems? It’s an evidence-based form of psychotherapy that sees the mind as made up of many “parts,” each with its own feelings, beliefs and job, all held by a calm, compassionate core called the Self. In IFS therapy, you get to know your parts with curiosity instead of fighting them, so the ones carrying old pain or fear can heal and your Self can lead.

IFS in a nutshell

Everyone has parts. The part of you that worries, the part that criticizes, the part that wants to hide under the covers. Having parts is normal, not a sign that something is wrong.
Every part means well. Even parts that cause problems are trying to protect you, often using strategies they learned long ago.
You also have a Self. Beneath your parts is a calm, curious, compassionate core that can’t be damaged.
Healing happens through relationship. When your Self listens to your parts, they can relax, release old burdens and take on healthier roles.

Where IFS comes from

Family therapist Richard Schwartz, PhD, developed Internal Family Systems in the 1980s. His clients kept describing distinct inner voices that argued, protected and reacted to one another much like members of a family.

Schwartz applied family systems ideas to this “inner family,” and IFS was born. Today it is practiced by therapists around the world.

The three kinds of parts

IFS groups parts by the role they play in your inner system.

Managers work ahead of time to keep you safe and in control. Think planning, perfectionism, people-pleasing or a harsh inner critic.
Firefighters jump in when painful feelings break through. They try to put out the fire fast, through things like numbing, bingeing, scrolling, drinking or anger.
Exiles are younger parts that carry hurt, shame or fear from the past. Other parts often push them out of awareness to protect you.

What is the Self?

In IFS, the Self is who you are underneath all of your parts. It is often described by eight qualities, the “8 C’s”: calm, curiosity, compassion, confidence, courage, clarity, creativity and connectedness.

When you lead from Self, you can be with even very painful parts without being overwhelmed by them.

What happens in an IFS session?

Notice a part. You might start with something present right now, like anxiety about work or a familiar inner critic.
Unblend. With your therapist’s help, you step back just enough to observe the part instead of being swept up in it.
Get curious. You ask the part what it’s trying to do for you and what it’s afraid would happen if it stopped.
Build trust. Protective parts are thanked and respected, and only with their permission do you meet the vulnerable parts they guard.
Witness and unburden. Exiled parts share their story, feel understood and can let go of the pain or beliefs they have carried.

Ellen often weaves IFS together with clinical hypnosis and guided imagery to help clients connect with, understand and heal parts that are stuck in the past.

What can IFS help with?

People often seek IFS for:

Trauma and PTSD
Anxiety and panic
Depression
A harsh inner critic, shame and low self-worth
Relationship patterns (Ellen also uses Intimacy from the Inside Out, the couples version of IFS)
Addictive or compulsive habits
Chronic stress

In 2015, IFS was listed as an evidence-based practice in the National Registry of Evidence-based Programs and Practices, a federal registry then run by SAMHSA. Research on IFS continues to grow.

Is IFS right for me?

IFS can be a good fit if you feel pulled in different directions, keep repeating patterns you understand but can’t seem to change, or want a gentle, non-pathologizing way to work with painful experiences. A free consultation is a good way to find out.

IFS therapy with Ellen in Frisco and Dallas

Ellen Chernoff Simon is a Certified IFS Therapist (Level III) and Texas Licensed Professional Counselor with more than 30 years of experience. She blends IFS with hypnotherapy, guided imagery, biofeedback and neurofeedback for a whole-person approach.

Sessions are available at her office at 2770 Main Street in Frisco and online. Explore all of Ellen’s therapy services, or read What is Biofeedback?

Curious how IFS could help you?

Book a free 15-minute consultation with Ellen to talk about your goals.

Book a free consult

Prefer to talk? Call (972) 880-0102 or send a text.

Connect to your higher self.

IFS, hypnotherapy and mind-body therapies in Frisco, just north of Dallas.

Start your journey

Or talk to Ellen directly: Call (972) 880-0102 or send a text.